Hey, long time no talk. It’s been about 2 and a half weeks since I posted a blog post. Usually, I am on top of my weekly posting but last week
and this week has been hard for me to creatively come up with a topic to write about. Mostly, a topic that I could write about, based on my own experience, that would hold significance to anyone.
Then I started thinking about how I have been feeling. As a black woman in America… I began thinking about all of the things that have been brought to light this week and the other things that have not happened throughout my years of living. I felt more despair than I have ever before. Even when aggression happened to me. This… this past 14 days just hit completely different. It became very clear who believes your life matters and who doesn’t.
I thought I would write this blog post using this month to focus primarily on mental health. What I learned based on my own experience before I see the positive in any situation I first see the negative. Whether that is a natural response or a nurtured one I do not know. However, I do believe that there are learned ways we can use to make sure that even when we fall down into these pessimistic states we can rise out of the ashes.
I wanted to share with you this week 5 necessary self-care tips that I use when dealing with overwhelming situations.
By no means are these the end all be all, these are just different coping mechanisms that I use to typically help me begin my ascent into the light.
I hope that these help you and I am open to hearing from you about what self-care strategies work best for you.
Set Boundaries
I learned this one recently. I was talking to so many people about topics of racism and opening myself up to listen to other people that I forgot about my own wellbeing and my own sanity. As someone who enjoys helping others, it became a burden doing so that I didn’t realize until I found myself laying in bed until 3 pm not being able to move and not doing anything I was supposed to because I was so extremely tired. Setting boundaries for yourself helps protect yourself from external harm you may not have even been aware of from other people.
Fill your happiness tank – do one thing that makes you happy
This self-care tip is probably my favorite because it creates endorphins. Something that routinely causes you happiness will feel 10x better when you are down. For me it’s drinking an iced coffee from Dunkin. It’s from this franchise mainly because it reminds me of home and coffee taste good. Even though I consume it almost every day the significance of going out and ordering and drinking it where ever I bring a smile to my face. Also running on the track…. The simple thought of me being out there actively releasing my stress brings my joy and a way to rid my body of what is causing me sadness.
Log off
Logging off of social media or limiting your exposure even when social media isn’t the stressor is super important. There is always an influx of visuals and information, some of which are just noise in the mix of larger issues and causes. I find that returning to a space that isn’t so largely connected allows me to refocus and reset. Social media is a stressor in itself. It’s always a good idea to give yourself a break to process and digest.
Journal
I journal a lot, mostly because I feel like I have a ton of thoughts all the time and somedays I need to get it out on paper instead of in my head. I journal my raw thoughts and emotions. My favorite part about this is going back and looking at my past journals and remember what happened that day. And recognizing how much growth I have made since then.
Okay this may sound weird but – Have an honest conversation with yourself
This can be in the shower or looking yourself in the mirror. I typically do this because sometimes it’s not easy to talk to someone else about how you are feeling. While it may be helpful sometimes others are not able to give you the level of understanding that you mean. This is not crazy talk I promise but think of it like a prayer. Sometimes I have these convos with myself or I pray. Both typically help me listen to my own reactions to certain things and reflect on what is making me overwhelmed. It feels easier to cry, laugh, and just feel when you can have these private conversations.
Each of these self-care tips is unique in the sense that they are not all used every time for every situation. Depending on what I need at that moment, my approach to my mental health changes. As it should, we are constantly changing and evolving. Learning and growing. We are not all the same people we were yesterday, last week, last month, or a year ago. We all have the ability to change and by doing so our approaches to taking care of ourselves do too.
I hope these tips, as told by me, Domonique, helped.
Signing off,
Domonique
